WWJD?

One Hundred Percent

I am following my star
and the row of cars
heading East
clogging the Southern State
like a hampered artery
barely flowing slowly
stop and going in the Friday night heat
toward weekend Hampton retreats
on the end of Suffolk County.
The faulty AC in my ‘89 Ford Probe
cranks hot air and exhaust,
my AM radio crackles bleakly
stories running together –
more bad war news from Iraq
an impending Iranian nuclear attack
al-Qaeda in the streets
massacring Burmese monks
soaring costs of crude
fueling dire economic forecasts
driving higher gas prices at the pumps.
A silver Lexus RX SUV cuts in front of me
without a signal and my old brakes squeal.
The woman talking on her cell has no clue.
The bumper sticker opposite her Bush
Cheney ‘04 glowing redder in the brake lights
announces proudly: “100% Jesus.”
I pull up beside her when I can
but she is still on the phone
and doesn’t notice me. So I toot
and when she looks I turn my window down
and say: “Hey, don’t they put directionals
on such an expensive car? And is Jesus
anything like orange juice?”
She dismisses me with a clear hand signal
and gets back to matters more important.
It makes me realize that I
must be only 40% Jesus at best –
with lesser degrees of Buddha,
Allah,
and a smattering of atheist thrown in.

© 2007 J. E. Scalia from Poetry In Alphabetical Order

A Very Patient Man

A Very Patient Man

I'm a very patient man. My mother was fond of telling me and everyone she ever met that it took more than ten months for me to be born. And then she could never resist mentioning that when I finally did come into the world I nearly killed her because I was a breech baby and backed into it. As a result, backing into things has become a way of life for me.

Take my marriage for example. I was married once – reluctantly. Two times. Both ended badly. The second ended worse. Each one taught me a lesson – the first, that I could survive with less than I ever thought I needed, and the second, that I could get along with nothing at all. But it was the recent break up with my ex-fiancée, Naomi, that taught me the greatest lesson of all: Don't go off on a seven day business trip unless you are prepared to find your girlfriend Naomi sleeping with your landlord Steve when you come back.

I probably could have murdered the both of them and gotten away with it. No jury in the world would have convicted me if I had only reacted instinctively, then and there, and killed them both immediately without premeditation. A crime of passion.

And maybe I should have, but I didn't. Instead I waited for some explanation and listened patiently, impassively to Steve the Landlord, my former friend, when he made his case.

"Hey,” he told me from across the living room of what used to be our, Naomi‘s and my upstairs apartment in Steve’s two-family house, “you have to understand, I’m not the bad guy in all this."

Naomi never said another word to me. I’ve noticed that women tend to be like that – when they are done they are done. And from Naomi’s perspective there was no need to ever talk to me again. She had simply moved on with her life, when she moved everything out of our apartment and into Steve’s place while I was away and taken up residence downstairs. She even got to move her ruby-pearl Nissan Maxima from the street, where, as tenants, Naomi and I parked our cars, to the concrete driveway next to Steve's ebony Trans Am with the blackout windows.

In the nights following my return, it was strange and painful for me to listen to the muffled strains of our album, Paul Simon's Graceland, drifting up into the apartment through the un-vacuumed shag rug, while the ultra bass of Steve’s Bose speakers pounded the beat of "I Know What I Know," and vibrated the pictures on my walls, punctuating the sounds of Naomi's unrestrained passion under me, directly beneath my bed. It was then that I realized her name, Naomi, spelled backwards is I MOAN. But why had I never been aware of that before?

As upsetting as it was for me to go to bed alone each night, I adjusted – eventually. I even stopped crying and trying to use my pillow as a silencer for their lovemaking and as my surrogate life-partner and I began using the sleepless hours to plot my revenge. Of course, I could simply have blown out the pilot lights on the gas stove in the morning before I left the house and simply waited for Chuck the Mailman to ring once on the front doorbell and blow the place to smithereens. But that wasn't very creative, and besides, I liked Chuck. So I considered something slightly less dramatic and less obvious then a dark mushroom cloud of acrid smoke in the sky above a hole in the ground where Steve the Landlord’s house would have been. I needed a more subtle approach. Like Montressor, the Edgar Allen Poe character in “The Cask Of Amontillado,” who waited years for his revenge, burying alive his rival Fortunato behind a brick wall in the wine cellar, I bided my time and looked for my opportunity.

Steve's dearest possession, besides the recently acquired Naomi, of course, was the ebony Trans Am that he parked in his newly poured cement driveway and kept dust-free with a chamois glove applied to its gleaming surface every evening. And in an instant it occurred to me that I might be able to kill two lovebirds, as the saying goes, with one well placed stone. Not that I was planning to drop a cinder block out of the second story window through his windshield. Well, not at that time anyway. Instead, I went to the local Jiffy Lube and asked the mechanic to fill the jar I’d brought with used motor oil.

“Used oil? You want used oil?”

“The dirtier the better,” I said. “I need it to solve a sticky problem,” I explained, slipping him three bucks, which was enough to satisfy his curiosity.

Securing the oily jar in the trunk of my old Ford Probe under rags and behind the spare tire for safekeeping, I carried it back home.

The next morning I left the house earlier than usual, stumbling down the stairs so my departure couldn’t go unnoticed. Then, after I was sure that Naomi and Steve had left for work in their respective cars and were gone for the day, I doubled back to the house. I pulled out the jar, tip-toed up the driveway and dribbled just ten little black drops of oil in a careless pattern on the immaculate concrete, directly below where the Trans Am's oil pan came to rest.

And I waited.

For a while Steve didn't seem to notice, but as the days passed and I kept up my self-appointed routine, adding no more than ten drops each time, the circle widened, and gradually the oil stain grew into a dark Jackson Pollock on the pristine cement that couldn't be ignored. From behind my curtained window I watched Steve scrub down the spots with solvent and a broom and then crawl on the cement, poking his head under the chassis in an attempt to pinpoint his oil leak. He began parking the car in different places along the driveway and he even turned it around to face the street. Making a careful note of his previous nights’ parking spots, I simply left my newest deposits in the appropriate places the following morning when both of them were gone.

On several occasions Steve drove his Trans Am from the polka-dotted driveway back to the dealership, but no matter what they may have done to the car and at what cost, the mysterious oil problem persisted. In fact, it even got worse, when I upped my dribbling to twenty drops. And after another month the Trans Am disappeared completely from the driveway for three days. When it reappeared, after a costly major overhaul that included a new oil pan, the oil drip finally stopped. Unfortunately for Steve, a week after he got that problem under control, the Trans Am started leaving rusty looking deposits of red transmission fluid!

And still, like Montressor, I waited.

Next came the White-Out. Now here’s an interesting fact that I discovered. Not only can a properly placed daub of White-Out change a typographical error back to perfection, but also, when dropped from the second floor onto the top of any car, it looks remarkably like bird poop. However, I also learned, there is one major difference between the two seemingly similar substances. Hardened bird poop can be removed with some soap and water and a thumbnail applied vigorously to the spot; hardened White-Out baked in the sun can not! So soon the tops of both their cars looked like a flock of migrating seagulls had mistaken them for the bombing range on the Puerto Rican island of Vieques.

Then it was Naomi's car-door-opening carelessness that began to make an unwanted impression on Steve, and his Trans Am. Little dings and dents and scratches, patches of ruby-pearl paint began to appear, marring the ebony surface of his car, and the damage on his finish corresponded exactly with the flecks of black paint on the door edge of Naomi’s Nissan, which is, for the record, IMOAN’s NASSIN spelled backwards.

In the evenings I listened to them argue from my space above the fray holding the touch-up paint applicators I had recently found at Auto Barn.

"Look what you did to my car!"

"I didn't do it!"

"I suppose I did it myself, to my own car!"

"Look what you did to my car!"

"That wasn't me. Unlike some people, I have respect for other people's property!"

I had to laugh when I heard Steve say that.

"You're an anal retentive asshole!"

"And you're a bitch!"

And so it went. And still I waited.

Of course I paid my rent on time by certified check, the first of every month, slipping it under Steve’s door to avoid any direct contact. And for the most part I was successful. We were like two warships passing in the night with hardly a shot fired. But sometimes our paths did cross.

“What are you doing?” Steve demanded when he yanked his door open and found me crouching close to the floor by the keyhole.

“That time of the month,” I said and handed him the check instead of slipping it in. “How’s it going? You look harried, Steve. You sleeping okay?” I added casually and smiled.

“Up yours!” He grabbed the check and slammed the door.

At night I calculated the growing rift in their relationship by the explosive arguments, the banging doors that had replaced Paul Simon and Naomi's moans, while I, overhead, played "The 1812 Overture" as an accompaniment.

In early June, Steve's prized Kentucky Blue Grass lawn, the one he had sprouted from seed, nurtured with expensive chemicals and tended with devotion for years, had a major set back. At first spots of withered yellow grass began to appear on the emerald lawn, like crude crop circles. And then dark brown patches sprang up wherever the grass died down.

"It might be fertilizer burn,” said the landscaper, a retired Air Force pilot and Vietnam vet who came at Steve’s first call.

I picked up snatches to their conversation from my window.

“Or a fungus, or grubs, or maybe a mole,” he said. “But–” He dropped down for a closer inspection. “–it looks more like some defoliant. Agent Orange. We used a lot of the stuff to kill off the jungles in Nam, so we could see Charlie and napalm his ass when he was out in the open." Then the landscaper scanned the vast brown wasteland that once was Kentucky Blue. He sniffed the ground, pulled a few withered blades of brown grass and tasted them. “Yep. An air-born defoliant most likely. Maybe one of your neighbors was trying to kill weeds and some of it drifted over into your yard."

I snorted and Steve looked up and saw me looking down on him. Our eyes locked just for a second and he flipped me the bird.

Of course none of the lawn guy’s suggested treatments worked, and slowly Steve's pride and joy took on the appearance of Chernobyl after the accident. In the end he paid the man a lot of money to dig out the old and re-sod the new, the entire yard, front and back.

"It's you, you bastard! I know it’s you!" Steve accused me the morning after the waste pipe in his wall burst from some mysterious blockage and the tile floor in his bathroom and kitchen were covered with two inches of gray water. "I want you out of my house!"

"But," I said, “I have a lease. Two more years.” I reminded him by waving a copy in the air. "So I guess you'll just have to wait. Unless, of course, you want to buy me out?"

Next it was the mail that gave them problems. A spate of unsolicited magazine subscriptions began arriving daily, everything from Hustler to Blue Boy, from S & M Swingers to Split Beaver, and a semi-weekly newsletter from NAMBLA - The National Man-Boy Love Association.

"But I didn't subscribe to any of these," Steve complained to Chuck the Mailman, who eyed him with suspicion.

"Until you cancel them I have to deliver them," Chuck said pulling another bundle from the back of his Jeep. Chuck had taken to wearing latex gloves whenever he handled Steve’s mail. "Neither rain nor sleet nor the other stuff. You know what they say, ‘The mail must go through.’ Even crap like this," he said with raised eyebrows before he handed over an issue of Out Of The Closet Pedophiles.

A short time after that, all mail deliveries abruptly stopped. Not mine – Naomi and Steve’s.

"What's happened to my mail? My bank statements? My bills?" Steve asked Chuck after a week with nothing passing through his slot.

"You stopped your mail delivery. I got a copy of the card that you filled out," Chuck said, dropping a bunch of letters into my box. "Since last week everything is being routed to your new address in Tahiti.”

"Tahiti?"

“You sure are a lucky guy. I always wanted to go to Tahiti and paint, but I can’t afford it on a mail carrier's salary. I hope you have a great life there. When do you leave?"

"Tahiti?"

I guess the stress was too much because that night Naomi and Steve had the biggest falling out and loudest fight ever. I had to crank up the “1812 Overture” to thirteen so I couldn’t hear. Shortly after the police cars arrived, Naomi packed up her Nissan with all of her stuff and some of Steve’s, and after making sure to slam her ruby-pearl car door into his ebony fender several times, she drove off in squeal of tires that kicked up pebbles and left a lasting impression on the cement and Steve’s Trans Am.

Some days later, one of the neighbors reported seeing Naomi in Waldbaum’s with some guy from the other side of town, a bartender, a drug dealer or a used car salesman. She had moved in with the guy the very night she moved out of Steve’s. According to the neighbor who knew someone who knew someone who knew the guy, he had been consoling Naomi and sleeping with her behind Steve’s back in her “time of need” while she and Steve were growing apart.

What goes around comes around.

For me life is getting back to normal. Winter is coming. The days are getting shorter, and so is my lease. I was just up to Wolly’s Hardware Store in town where I have my eye on a propane torch. I told Harry, the owner there that I always wanted to learn how to sweat pipes.

“It’s easy,” he assured me. “With a little time and practice you’ll be melting solder like a pro and all those copper pipes on your baseboard heating system will just fall apart.”

I told him I have the time to learn, and I do.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. So I am waiting and I’m working on some other ideas too, for when Steve finally gets his mail problem straightened out and Chuck the Mailman begins deliveries again, somewhere around Christmas, the way I figure it. Meanwhile the information pamphlets I requested from the New York State Department of Health have recently arrived, and through the marvels of technology I was able to scan their official letterhead and reproduce it on my computer for the letter I am contemplating.

"Dear Sir, although the Federal Privacy Act prevents us from naming any individual or individuals involved, we have learned that in all likelihood you have been exposed to one or more sexually transmitted diseases and may be at serious health risk. If you do not already know, STDs are spread by irresponsible, intimate sexual contact with infected individuals or barn animals. Therefore, we strongly urge you to visit your local health clinic or see your primary care physician immediately for a thorough examination and a complete battery of tests. Although we are making no moral judgment about your careless sexual conduct, we must inform you that you are required by law and bound by whatever conscience you may have to notify each and every one of the partners with whom you have had careless, irresponsible and almost criminal sexual contact in the past five years. In turn, they can inform all of their sexual partners and seek diagnosis and treatment, if necessary. In the future, asshole, you can help prevent the spread of most STDs by using a condom for all sexual activities, including self-abuse, and by being more discriminating in your choice of sexual partners. Until you have been diagnosed and properly treated by your health clinic or physician, you must refrain from all sexual activities with everybody, including yourself!"

One just can't be too careful these days. In the long run, I am sure that Steve the Landlord and Naomi will appreciate, and maybe even thank me for the early warning. In a way I will be doing them, and who knows how many others, a favor.

Like I said, I'm a very patient man.

© 2007 J. E. Scalia from Scalia vs. The Universe

Sexual Thoughts At Midnight...

Blesséd Is He...

Blesséd is He who comes in the name of the Lord,
the Bible says, and I am wondering if that is why
so many people say, "Oh God!" when they come.
Or perhaps it is because they get religion,
arriving at the Gates of Heaven heaving and
for a brief moment see the face of God a little bit.
“I am about to arrive,” an English woman
once said to me before she came.
It sounded so much classier than, “I’m coming.”
“Now?” I asked, and she arrived – a number of times,
from different directions, but always in the name of the Lord.
There have been occasions when I thought I was arriving,
but instead I just wet my pants and said,
"Oh shit!" which isn’t quite the same at all.
Both my ex-wives said it when we had sex,
especially in the waning years when the marriages
were failing and we were waiting for papers
from their attorneys to arrive.
They hardly ever came at all,
in the name of the Lord or otherwise,
and I don’t think it was because they were atheists.
Which got me to thinking about them and sex.
Do atheists say, “Oh God!” running the words together
all in lower case? “ohgod!” Or do they just say,
“Oh no god!” I wonder?

© 2007 J. E. Scalia from Poetry In Alphabetical Order

Read Chapter One of Pearl

Pearl

A New Chapter in an Old Story

by Joseph E. Scalia

Chapter I

Lucio lived in the cluster of dusty shacks and metal Quonset huts on the outskirts of La Paz. For generations his people had lived, and worked, and died here. Rarely did a person born in this little Mexican village ever leave it, or even travel very far. This was the only home they ever knew for their entire life, and it was the world to them.

Although the people were not all related by blood, in a family sense, they were bound together by the blood that they spilled in the daily struggles to survive. And it was this that brought them even closer than any family. By chance they were thrown together, but of necessity they were united—against the tantrums of nature manifested in the violent storms that sometimes blew out of the Sea of Cortez, now called the Gulf of California. Periodically, as though willed by the vengeful gods, the winds ripped through the estuary, destroying the houses fashioned from rusted metal and corrugated tin, the rough wooden shacks made from packing crates, and left the people without homes. With great determination they battled the sea, that was at once their friend, providing them with life, and their enemy, often taking away the very lives of so many of these poor fishers.

Together the people celebrated life. They rejoiced in the marriages of their young, and were hopeful with the birth of each new child. And together they mourned, for they were no strangers to Death. Death was something that came and found them much too easily, often assuming the guise of accident and chance. He was a figure who hovered in the dark corners of a room, who came to them in the form of sickness, starvation and in childbirth, or from the stinging bite of a snake. Death was a silent passenger who daily rode with them in their fishing boats, or appeared suddenly in the violent Gulf storms. Death waited in the jaws of the sharks that threatened their fragile lives forty feet below the surface of the blue waters, where the fishers dived for pearls. Here, with only as much air as a man could hold in his lungs, and a diving knife for protection, a pearl fisher struggled to tear Luck loose with the oysters that clung to the coral reefs. And because Death was always so near, the people weren't afraid, but they had learned to accept him with resigned indifference, as the inevitable and sometimes welcome conclusion to a hard life.

It was the tearful women of the village who carefully washed and wrapped the dead, preparing them for burial. And it was the stoical men who carried them to the sacred ground of the cemetery behind the large church. There the tired old priest sprinkled holy water with indifference on the crude wooden coffins, and said his mumbled magic prayers that liberated their souls and elevated them to a better, easier eternal life.

Luck was real and important to these people, as real to them as their religion, that had become a curious blend of Christianity mingled with the old Indian beliefs, from the time before the strangers came to change their lives forever. To them Luck was as tangible and palpable as the Christian God, who lived inside their church. So daily the people prayed to the infant Christ to send Luck on a visit whenever they marked their numbers for the lottery. They lit candles to coax the crucified Jesus, to move God the Father, and the other ancient gods, to send Luck to the Gulf floor whenever they dived for pearls. This trinity of Luck, Religion and Superstition, second only to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, colored every facet of the people's being, and gave meaning to their lives. But even if the gods refused their request for fortune, the people still prayed for Luck, for they knew that often it was only by courting Luck that Death could be avoided.

And in their deepest desperation, the people of La Paz always maintained their impossible dreams, and their fervent hopes. They said their prayers of being blessed some day, of finding a pearl that might give some comfort to their difficult lives and change them for the better. And because this was the way it was in La Paz, it was also how they viewed the world.

Lucio was just one fisherman in La Paz. He was a young man, strong, and dependable. Everyone in the village knew that he was someone to be counted on whenever there was hard work to be done, whenever there was the need of another pair of hands, or a strong back. And Lucio was handsome too. In the day time, when he wandered by the houses of his neighbors on his way to the beach, or into the city to sell his pearls to the buyers, all the little girls giggled and called to him when he passed, "Good morning, Lucio. How are you today, Lucio?"

The young women, who were more reserved, smiled shyly if they caught his glance, or they hid their faces as he went by them, and they blushed behind their hands, to cover their embarrassment that Lucio might be able to read their secret thoughts from their eyes. Often at night time under the security of darkness, when the only sounds were those of sleep, it was Lucio who entered the dreams of these same young women. So now when they saw him pass in the daylight it made them blush even more.

But as Lucio walked by, he always held his head high and kept his eyes focused straight ahead. This was done not out of any sense of pride or conceit, but out of innocence. For Lucio was a simple man who never considered what effect he might have on the hearts of these young daughters of his neighbors. He did not give this a single thought, as he hardly gave a thought to any of them.

However, there was one young woman, Corina, the only daughter of Ernesto and Helena, who was special to him. As a child, he took an interest in Corina and protected her when they played together. Then, when he was older and had to give up play to learn fishing with his father, he often looked for her on the beach where she remained with the other young girls. And Corina watched Lucio as well, worrying him safely home on stormy days, waiting for his boat to return.After the death of Lucio's father, whose life was taken by the sharks in a dive for pearls, and after the death of his mother from her sorrow, Lucio was alone in the world. Then it was Ernesto who became like his second father, completing Lucio's education, teaching him the secrets that would enable him to hold his breath just a little longer to take more oysters on every dive. And it was Ernesto's wife Helena, and their budding flower, Corina, who brought Lucio food to keep up his strength, and provided some solace for his sorrow, until he was able to deal with his great loss.

It was no wonder that this same girl, Corina, having grown into a beautiful young woman, who often found her way into Lucio's secret thoughts, and into his plans for the future. He knew that some day, when he picked someone to marry, it would be no one but Corina, if she would have him. But Lucio also knew that marriage could come only when he had the money to support a wife and the means to provide for the children that would inevitably follow.

So, for the present, Lucio put the thought of Corina and the dream of marriage out of his mind. And although he felt the occasional loneliness of a bachelor, and sometimes he yearned for the warmth and softness of a wife who would comfort his nights, Lucio was glad most often that the only worries that filled his head were for his own survival, and for the illusive pearls that he hunted. Now, at least, his only concern had to be for himself.

Like the other pearl fishers, Lucio prayed to Our Lady of Loretto, the Virgin Mother of the Christ Child, to intercede on his behalf with her Son for the good fortune to find just one pearl to change his life. Sometimes, before a dive, Lucio threatened, and sometimes he pleaded directly with God the Father, and with all his ancient gods, bargaining with them for good luck. Lucio made a solemn promise that if his prayers were answered he would tithe and donate a tenth of his fortune to the church in La Paz. And he would make generous contributions to the poor as well. Lucio knew that this was just a fancy, as remote a chance as picking the winning numbers in the national lottery. But there was a part of him that secretly believed it could all come to pass, and that thought gave Lucio some hope.

La Paz was known for the beauty of its pearls, collected and used by the Aztec artisans in their work, even before Columbus arrived in the New World more than five hundred years ago. When the plunderers came over the blue water in their floating houses, with their horses and their gunpowder and their new religion, they were welcomed as gods. And in return they conquered the people, who greeted them with open arms. They stripped the Gulf of its treasure, sending back large fortunes of gold, silver and pearls in their strange wooden ships to adorn the robes of Spanish kings, of European nobles, and of Catholic popes. The gold and silver were pure and the pearls were cheap, gathered at the cost of the Indian lives which were expendable. For centuries these strangers enslaved and exploited the people and dominated the land and sea.

Even after the stranglehold of Spanish colonialism was broken, the next onslaught that swept south along the Baja into La Paz, came from corrupt government officials in far away Mexico City. And nothing changed for the pearl fishers, except the faces of the strangers who lined their pockets with wealth and almost depleted what remained of the pearls.

In the last remaining years of the 20th century, the invasion came in the form of big North Americano petroleum companies in search of cheap oil to fuel the fancy cars of gringos in the U.S. They were followed by a flood of manufacturers eager for laborers to assemble their machines or sew their expensive labels on clothing and sneakers. A prosperity came to the Baja, as up and down the coast mechanical monsters drilled the sea and tore up the land. But it was a prosperity for the very strangers who built the factories, the vacation homes, the condominiums for the gringo businessmen who managed these factories and needed a place to escape the pressures of their lives. And it was a prosperity for the officials in Mexico City, eager to line their pockets with easy money and bribes. They passed the laws to protect these new conquistadors, again handing over land they didn't own and sacrificing people they didn't know. And the city of La Paz became the new Mecca for hordes of speculators who, like Midas, turned cheap land into gold. Soon vacationing gringos clogged the barren streets, fast food chains mushroomed beside the quaint shops, and the once pure waters of the Gulf filled with dead fish and pollution. Foul oil and gasoline from industrial spills, and the many pleasure boats that put into the estuary, smothered the young oysters and threatened to destroy all that once had been. Now Lucio and his people, even in the middle of such wealth, were lucky if they could wrestle from the sea just enough pearls to survive.

Lucio padded over the rubble that covered the beach. Through the thin rubber soles of his sandals, made from the automobile tires discarded by the new gringo factory, he could feel hundreds of years of history in the generations of broken oyster shells that mixed with the coarse beach sand. Lucio stopped to remove from his sandal a piece of purple shell, rounded and smoothed and made almost translucent by the countless eons of waves that washed into the estuary. He examined it with the intense interest of an expert in such shells, trying to determine its age, wondering if, perhaps, it was part of an oyster that once contained a great pearl. He considered who the man might have been who pulled this shell from the sea, and what his life had been like. He wondered if the man might have been related to Lucio in some way. Maybe, he thought, the shell might have simply been carried by a hungry gull who dropped the oyster, causing it to smash on the rocks. Often had he seen these birds cheat starvation by such cleverness. Lucio turned it over again in his hand, and then he tossed the shell away.

Carefully he made his way toward the place where he and his neighbors beached the brightly colored fishing boats with their proud, high bows and the short, sturdy masts that could support a small homemade canvas sail. Such boats could easily pull a man over the breakers to the blue waters beyond, where the oysters and the fish played out the drama of their lives.Lucio's boat lay on the beach above the dark water line of seaweed and foam that marked high tide. Like the other boats, it was painted and plastered, layer upon layer, with the secret formula of preservative known only to the fishermen of La Paz. The secret was something that had been handed down, over the generations, from father to son. Though each of the boats might appear to be the same to the inexperienced eye, each one was different. Each boat had a life, a soul and a personality of its own. Every fisherman took special pride in caring for his boat, that was, at once, his livelihood and his life, his identity and his status in La Paz. And so the fishermen treated them with tenderness and love and respect.

The gleaming surface of Lucio's canoe was painted and decorated with unique and ancient designs that identified this boat as his own. Once it had belonged to his grandfather, Kino, a pearl fisher who was well known and well respected in La Paz. Even nearly a century later, the stories were told of Kino, his wife, Juana, who was Lucio's grandmother, and their first child, Coyotito. They were an important part of the history of the village. And people still told stories of how long ago, the young Kino had once found the "Pearl of the World," the largest, most perfect, most beautiful pearl ever taken from the Gulf waters, a pearl easily worth a hundred thousand pesos. They told how Kino's prayers of being a rich man, of having a better life for his family, were answered. And they told how it had all been taken from him by the evil that came from the city.

There were those old ones still alive, who said they remembered, though they were only children then, how Kino, in a final act of defiance against the corruption that had ruined his life, threw his great pearl back into the Gulf in full view of the entire village. These same old ones also told how Kino and Juana's first baby, Coyotito, had been killed by the evil unleashed from the great pearl. They told how Chance had sent a bullet through the top of the baby's head. These stories endured in the people's hearts, and in their minds. And because they were told over and again, they had become legend in the village, mythical, a central part of the lore for the people who lived there. The story of Kino and Juana's tragedy was taken as a warning to everyone: "Be careful what you wish for. The gods just may give you what you ask." Still there were others who regarded it as a sign of hope.

Lucio knew all of the stories, and he knew the old place at the back of the holy cemetery where worn stone crosses marked the graves of Kino, Juana, Coyotito, as well as the others who came after, including the recent graves of his own father and mother.

Lucio patted the smooth sides of his boat as one might caress the flank of a horse, or the arm of a loved one. He knew every inch of this boat that had come to him from Kino through his father. Lucio knew even the place at the bottom where once a hole had been broken through. Lucio's father had told his young son the story many times. How the hole had been made by dark forces to prevent Kino from leaving La Paz with his great pearl to get a fair price for it in Mexico City, more than a thousand miles from La Paz. That was long before Lucio's father had been born. And even though the surface of the canoe had been repaired and restored with years of the secret plaster, Lucio could still trace with his fingers, the edge of the break, like the almost faded scar of a wound long healed.

Lucio often thought about these stories, and how his life might have been different if Kino had sold his "Pearl of the World," and kept his fortune of a hundred thousand pesos. Then Lucio would have been born into wealth, and lived in a real house in the city. It was a pleasant daydream, one that brought a smile to Lucio's face, as he imagined his life as it could have been, but he couldn't afford the luxury of indulging these fantasies for long. Sobering reality told him if he wanted to survive, if he wanted to eat, he had work to do.

Lucio checked that all his equipment was ready for the day's fishing — his old net, repaired many times, his harpoon with a place at the end to tie a line so it wouldn't be lost in the sea or in the back of some large fish, his diving rock and basket, the coils of rope that were his life line. He felt in his belt for his knife. And though some part of Lucio believed that a man was ultimately powerless to change his fate, another part of him knew he had to be prepared for all the possibilities.

A pearl fisher didn't expect pearls. They came by luck. And Lucio knew that Luck was a spoiled child, a fickle lover. The illusive pearls, if there might be any at all, were only faint promise of a man's future. Not every oyster contained a pearl, and not every pearl was a good one. A pearl fisher in possession of a pearl had to sell it to the buyers in the city, and a pearl fisher was at the mercy of these men who were stingy parting with their money.

Sometimes, Lucio knew, in order to change his luck when it was bad, in order to find a pearl when one had eluded him for a long time, he must forget about pearls completely. Sometimes, he knew, he must turn his attention to fishing with a net or a harpoon, and turn his back on Luck and on the reluctant pearls. As pleasant as it was to dream of being a rich man, Lucio knew it was better having food to put in his stomach. A fish could be eaten, and some, if the catch was big enough, might be sold. Even a single fish gave a man life, at least for another day. To Lucio that was reality.

Already the sun was a red blister on the blue sky. Lucio shaded his eyes with his hand, and he could see the masts and the sails of some of the other fishers off in the distance. He bent his back against the side of his boat and strained until it grated across the sand and shells, inched along the beach and came alive when it felt the water. Expertly he set the mast and hoisted the sail. The wind, that came across the land and carried with it the strange smells from the city, filled the orange and blue striped canvas, patched over and again, and pulled the tiny boat and its pilot over the breakers and toward the sun.

The prow cut the calm water like the blade of a sharp knife slices through a man's soft skin. Lucio pressed against the tiller and guided his boat to a place about a half mile from the shore where the water formed a deep basin. It was not a place he could take oysters because the water was too deep to dive, but it was ideal for fishing. Often the larger fish chased the little ones into the pool and trapped them there, feeding until they were sated. The pool was a place of death for the fish, and it was a place of life as well, for a skillful fisherman could fill his boat with only a few casts of his net.

Lucio steadied himself, and he set the sea anchor that would catch the water and keep the boat from drifting too far. He turned from the late morning sun toward the shore and the light threw his shadow across the top of the water. Lucio reached into the bottom of the boat for his casting net. The circular net was weighted along the edges so it could be thrown. A coiled rope, long enough for casting, connected with another that formed the circumference of the net, so that the open net could easily be drawn closed like a sack. It was an ancient and efficient device that had changed little over the centuries, a deadly tool in the hands of a skilled fisherman. Opened, it covered a vast expanse of water. Closed, it became a trap, ensnaring whatever had the misfortune of swimming below the surface in the path of the lethal net.

Lucio felt the boat move under his feet as the gentle swells rose and fell. Off to his right a scatter of silver fish broke the surface of the water. He knew the larger fish were feeding somewhere below him, sending these sweet and tender little ones to the surface. Once more Lucio checked the net, and he looped the end of the casting rope around his wrist. He couldn't afford to lose this net. Then he pulled back his arm and prepared to make his first cast into the center of the school of panicked fish.

His eye caught the movement of a long, dark shadow deeper in the water, and he snapped his arms with the practiced timing of an expert. The weighted net arched out and hung briefly in the air, a perfect circle, before it fell. At the same time a shark's dorsal fin sliced through the water toward the center of its panicked prey. The net landed in the very path of the big fish, causing the shark to alter its course directly toward Lucio's boat.

The shark hit the boat broadside with surprising power, and the force tumbled Lucio into the churning water among the panicked fish. He tried desperately to regain the surface, to lift himself into the boat and out of danger, but the casting rope that enabled him to pull in the fishing net had tightened around Lucio's wrist. He fumbled with the wet rope, but the slip knot wouldn't yield. The net was caught around the shark's nose, snagged in the teeth of its gaping mouth. The startled, powerful fish turned and dragged Lucio deeper under the water, trailing him like the tail attached to the end of a child's kite.

Normally Lucio could hold his breath for more than three minutes, while he searched for pearls, but he had managed only a short breath before the shark pulled him down and the waters closed around him. Frantically he struggled to reach the knife in his belt to cut himself free. The pain was intense as the power of the startled fish almost pulled Lucio's arm from its socket, and the taut rope tightened even more around his wrist, stopping the flow of blood to his hand.

The shark picked up speed, taking Lucio lower and lower, to where the filtered light formed eerie shadows on the sand. The pressure pressed in on Lucio's ears and made his lungs feel as if they would explode. Lucio slashed desperately with his knife, but another sudden tug from the shark jerked out his arm just as the sharp blade sliced through rope and skin. Lucio's heart was pounding, and the constricted flow of his blood, suddenly released when the rope was severed, pumped like a dark cloud into the water. The effect on the shark was immediate, as it seemed to hesitate for just a second, scenting the water, and then made a wide turn, looking for this new the source of food.

The shark came up from below, directly at Lucio, with its craggy mouth open wide. Its dark, dead eyes were visible through the net that was still draped over the shark's face and was caught in the triangular teeth. Lucio jabbed at one eye with his knife and pulled on the fishing net with his other hand, trying to tighten it around the shark's jaws, or change its direction. Blood from his wound washed into the shark's mouth, jolting it like an electric shock or the first sharp taste of alcohol. The shark jerked to the left as Lucio swam down and to the right, heading for the bottom. Trailing blood, he scrambled into a small grotto between two large rocks, just ahead of the lunging shark. Lucio's head ached. His chest felt compressed, as under a huge weight, and his lungs were ready to burst. He was dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the loss of blood. He could feel his vision fading and his mind clouding. He knew he had only a few more seconds before he would drown.

With every ounce of strength that remained, Lucio prayed frantically to the Virgin Mary, to his dead parents, to Kino, and to all his dead relatives. And then a little miracle happened in the form of a bright orange fish that swam directly into the path of the frenzied shark. Lucio watched as the frustrated predator took the fish with a snap of its huge jaws, shaking it viciously and breaking it in two. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the shark swam away and disappeared into the shadows.

Lucio whispered a quick prayer of thanks to God the Father and the other ancient gods of his ancestors. Looking down, he saw the reflection of something shiny on the sandy bottom between the rocks where he was hidden. He grabbed for it and closed the hand of his injured arm around the object. His legs kicked off the bottom like a taut spring, and Lucio swam frantically for the surface, his lungs screaming for air.

When his head broke through the water he saw that his boat was less than twenty yards away. In seconds he had pulled himself over the side and he was safe. With the blood still pumping from the gash in his arm, Lucio wrapped it with a piece of fishing line he found on the bottom of the boat, tying off the knot with his teeth. He watched as the flow of blood eventually slowed and almost stopped.

It was then that Lucio realized that the fist of his injured arm was still tightly closed. Slowly and painfully he had to pry open his fingers with his other hand. Lucio stared in disbelief and his mouth dropped open with the surprise of what he saw. In the bloody palm of his hand he held a large and beautiful pearl, one such as Lucio had never seen before. This was the pearl of his dreams.And a small stream of Lucio's blood trickled down his arm, and it mixed with the essence of the pearl, so that the two, Lucio and the pearl, became one, before his eyes closed and he passed out.

If you would like to read more or purchase this book go to www.xlibris.com/Pearlanewchapter

Read Chapter One of FREAKs

FREAKs by Joseph E. Scalia

Chapter One My name is Hilda, but people call me Hildy. Hilda is a German name. My mother was German, and French a little. My father is American. I mean real American, from before Columbus. He's part Cherokee, and a whole lot of other stuff. I guess that makes me a mutt. I used to go to Vanderville Junior High School on Long Island, in Nassau County. That was last year. Before that I went to schools in California, Michigan, Texas, and a couple of other places I can't even remember. I'm fifteen, almost, and already I've lived in more places than anybody I know. We travel a lot, Daddy and me. My mother is dead. I guess my story really starts with her. She was a dancer. Not the ballroom type. She danced classical ballet. She committed suicide, I think, when I was just a little baby, so I don't remember her. We don't talk about it much, so I'm really not sure. Besides Daddy, my only other family is Grandma Olga and Grandpa Louis, my mother's parents. I lived with them for a few years when I was a baby, so we're pretty close. They used to have a big house in Connecticut, but now they're retired to Florida, so I don't see them too often. Sometimes when Daddy looks at me, I know he's seeing my mother. He has a picture of her that he keeps in a silver frame. She was beautiful. Daddy says I look exactly like her. I don't really think so, but that's what he says. Maybe I do, in a way. My father thinks I'm beautiful, but I've never regarded myself as even pretty. He calls me his "precious gem." He's a Romantic and I'm a Realist. Everything about me is average. My height, my weight. My brown hair is kind of mousy and I keep it cut short like a boy's. Less trouble that way. I wear glasses when I read, that leave little red dents on the sides of my nose. And there are braces on my teeth. Two thousand dollars worth of orthodontia work that Daddy is still paying off in installments to Dr. Gresham in Van Nuys, California. Like I said, I'm a realist. My parents met while my mother was dancing with a small touring ballet company. Daddy said he fell in love the moment he saw her, and he followed her around the country until she agreed to marry him. It was all very romantic. It was a terrible shock for him when she died. That was soon after I was born. I'm still not exactly clear about what happened, and maybe I won't ever know for sure. But I guess it's like Daddy says, sometimes bad things happen to good people. Then Daddy started drinking and he lost his job. He left me with Grandma Olga for a while and took off somewhere, until he could "sort things out," he said. It took him a while because I was four when he came back. There was a terrible fight with my grandparents when he announced that he was taking me with him. For a while we just drifted from place to place, getting by a day at a time, but we had fun. I guess Daddy was still trying to forget, but he couldn't. That's the way it is, you know, you can't forget the people you love. And that's only right. I love the dance too. It's something I probably inherited from my mother. I used to dream about becoming a prima ballerina. Sometimes still, I just stand in front of the mirror studying myself in the various dance positions. Well, not so much anymore. And I used to have this fantasy about dancing a command performance for the President of the United States or the Queen of England or somebody, to a standing audience. I know it's silly and it's only a fantasy, and I'll never really do it. You see, I was born with a congenital hip defect and I had to wear a leg brace for a long time. I still walk with a limp. I hate the word handicapped. My father says they handicap horses. And golfers have a handicap too. So anytime somebody says that I'm handicapped, I picture myself with a silly bunch of golfers dragging around a bunch of horses while we're trying to hit little white golf balls all over the place. It's good for a laugh. I have to admit for a while I felt kind of responsible for my mother's death. After all, I was the imperfect product of two perfect people. Once I tried to talk about it to Mrs. Pierce, the school psychologist in one of the schools I went to, but Daddy packed us up before I really got a chance, and we moved to another job in another part of the country. It's not that I feel guilty exactly, and Daddy doesn't blame me, I know. He still feels responsible himself. It's just that I can't help thinking how different things could have been in life if I was born normal, and if my mother was still alive. Well, that's just some of the old stuff that I think about sometimes. And there's more, like everything that happened this past year in Vanderville. It's all still a jumble in my mind, and I haven't quite sorted things out. But I wonder why God-if there is a God-why He just sits around and allows some things to happen. If I sound kind of like a philosopher, I guess it's because I am in a way. In all the hours that I've spent alone, I've had lots of time to think, and to read. More than most kids, I guess. Because of the way I was born, my life, so far, has certainly been different. I guess I am different from other girls my age, and not just because of my hip, I mean. It's not that I don't think about boys and nice clothes and makeup and stuff. It's just that the way things have turned out, those things aren't that important to me. Anyway, it was the first day of school, my first day, I mean. The school year was pretty much well into the first semester when I got there. We had just moved to Long Island from Houston, Texas, and Daddy rented a little house for us in Nassau County. He had a new job with an electronics company that made parts for the Space Shuttle or something. Daddy's real smart, and he's had lots of jobs, so he can do almost anything. A jack of all trades. Grandma Olga calls him "scattered." She says he doesn't apply himself, so he won't ever amount to much. But I don't think that's true, and I think she says it because she's still angry at him about the way things turned out. I was sitting outside the Guidance Office of Vanderville Junior High School, holding the books that my father had picked up when he registered me for school the day before. I didn't particularly like the idea of being the "forever-new-girl" in school, but from all that moving around I had lots of experience. At least I had a lot of practice, and I wasn't nervous. Well, maybe just a little. From what I had seen of Vanderville, it wasn't much different from the other places I'd been. It looked like a school. The sounds that I heard from my seat sounded like a school. It even smelled like a school. You know, a mixture of old tuna fish sandwiches, chalk dust and gym socks. The principal, a Mr. Fagan, was a nervous looking man, who seemed very busy when he rushed through the office. He didn't say anything to me, but he kind of smiled a little and ran out. I was waiting for Mr. Gentile, my new guidance counselor, who was out to lunch. When he arrived, I was doing dance exercises in my mind, in time with the music of the secretaries clicking out their work on computer keyboards. He was thin, thirty-five about, kind of cute and out of breath. He had nice eyes. It's the eyes that I usually notice first about people. Mr. Gentile had gentle eyes. But his fingers were stained yellow from smoking a lot, and I could smell tobacco on his clothes. "I'm sorry I'm late," he said with a rush. "Er... Miss Crocket?" He looked at the index card he was holding. "Hilda. Why don't we go into my office? I have your schedule program made out, and a New Entrant slip for all your teachers to sign. Then I'll take you on a tour around the building. It's pretty big, but you'll get used to it. It won't be hard once you know where you're going." I stood up and took a step towards him. Because of my hip problem my right foot points in, and I move kind of on tip toes. Someone once described the way I walk as a string puppet with a twisted string. I liked to think of it as a special way of dancing. But poor Mr. Gentile wasn't ready for it. I guess no one had warned him. The smile on his face vanished and the expression in his eyes changed to fear and pity, just for a fraction of a second, until he recovered. I felt kind of sorry for him. He didn't know if he should help me, take my books, or ignore it. So I just smiled. We were out in the halls making the rounds of my classrooms. Mr. Gentile was right, it was a big building, but Vanderville wouldn't be too hard to negotiate. I had classes on every floor, and there were four of them. And I was scheduled for gym too. He apologized for that, and said he'd set up an alternate activities program so I could get course credit. "Of course I'll find you an elevator key, and an early dismissal pass so you'll have plenty of time to get from class to class. I'll call Transportation to make arrangements for the special bus. And maybe I can juggle some room changes so you won't have to-" "It's no bother, Mr. Gentile," I explained. "I actually prefer using the stairs. I'm really able to manage." Then the bell rang and a stampede of kids shook the building. I pressed myself against the lockers and allowed the stream to rush past, but poor Mr. Gentile was caught in the flood. He tried to battle his way back to me like a fish fighting the current. That was when I saw them walking in front of me, three boys, who had to be 9th Graders, in identical club jackets with WHEELS lettered on the back. They were strolling casually with their arms locked, holding up the crowd behind them. It made for a gigantic traffic jam. But nobody dared to push through, or tried to get around them. The three WHEELS were laughing and horsing around and having a great time. Then they spotted somebody coming from the other direction. He was a tall kid, but skinny and frail looking, with like zero muscle tone. And he was wearing tortoise rim glasses that made him look a bit doofie. You know the type that goes through life with a "Kick Me Hard" sign taped on his back and the word "Victim" written all over his face. The WHEELS changed direction, attaching themselves to him, and they headed back down the hall in my direction. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Jakove the Jack-Off!" one of them said loud enough for everybody to hear. "Oh, Harrison," another one mocked with a falsetto voice, "How are things in Fairyland, Jack-Off?" They circled him like sharks, but he didn't answer. He tried to ignore them, but I could see it in his eyes, a mixture of fear, contempt and resignation. "Don't you like us, gayboy? You never have anything to say to us." Harrison Jakove held his books tighter in his hands and against his body, bracing for what he knew was about to come. "I would stop and engage you in conversation guys, but I'd be late for my next class. And besides, I'd have to explain the meaning of too many words to you." His remark made me laugh, as the four of them stopped right in front of me. "You know," the biggest WHEEL said, "I get the feeling that the our pal Jack-Off doesn't like all the attention we show him." He laid his fat and sweaty hand on Jakove's shoulder and spun him around. Jakove tried to break away, but it was too late. He was caught and the others began turning him around and around in a circle, faster and faster, until he was too dizzy to stand up. There was a crowd around them laughing and cheering. I felt really sorry for the kid. "Just leave me alone, will you?" he protested as he staggered around. But that wasn't to be. Somebody put out a foot and somebody else slapped at his books, and Jakove was down on the floor in one direction, and his notebooks, loose-leaf and biology book in the other. I was standing right there practically pinned to the lockers. "Break it up!" Mr. Gentile yelled from across the hall. He was trying to push his way into the middle of things. "Are you all right, Harrison?" He helped him to his feet. "I think so." His glasses were crooked on his face. "But my books? My homework?" They were scattered all over the hall. Mr. Gentile glared at the WHEELS. "Galante," he said to the biggest one. He was trying hard to control his voice, but the veins in his forehead were sticking out. "What are you looking at me for? I didn't do it. Ask anybody." He turned to the kids around him. They were all shaking their heads. "Pick up those books, Galante. You and your friends pick up every one of those papers." "What for? We didn't do it. This kid is a spaz. He can't even walk straight." Everybody laughed. "I said pick them up!" Then the second bell rang. "That's the warning bell, Mr. Gentile. We don't want to be late for class. Will you write us all late passes?" Galante asked with unmistakable sarcasm. "Just get out of here, Galante. Everybody, go to class!" Mr. Gentile practically yelled and the crowd broke up. He picked up some of the papers and handed them to Harrison Jakove. When everything got back to normal, Mr. Gentile showed me to the rest of my classes. He apologized for what had happened and he hoped it wouldn't affect my opinion of Vanderville. He said that it really was a good school, with a very few exceptions. We ended up back in his office. I started school the next day.

If you would like to read more or purchase this book go to www.xlibris.com/FREAKs

Watch This Space

Wuh? Wuh?
This is my new blog. Expect new and wonderful things, similar to, but more exciting than my other pages:
Joe's Place
Watercolors From My Different Other Life
Scalia vs. The Universe (AOL)

Also see my current publications:
FREAKs
Pearl
No Strings Attached